Healing In Small Steps - Rituals That Help People Cope with Loss

Grief is a complex yet universal feeling which can take many forms. While some may prefer to be out and active, others may want some solitude. There is no one way or a ‘right’ way to process the loss of a loved one and heal. 

Many people find that it is usually the small things in everyday life which take them ahead on the path of healing. While fiction may be big on the ‘grand gestures’ to cope with big feelings, it is often the small daily rituals and habits that can help one cope with a loved one’s loss and take them back on track to a stable life. 

This article looks at rituals, habits, and acts that many people have found helpful and comforting when dealing with grief. Do not think of these as instructions, but rather an insight into the unique and often beautiful ways that human beings heal themselves.

Everyday Actions that Bring Emotional Relief

When grief is the ruling emotion, each day can feel heavy. In such situations, practising grounding habits can be of great help to many. It can make the moment feel lighter and give one the confidence to take on the day. 

Many people practice spiritual acts at the start of the day - it can be lighting a candle, saying a small prayer, or simply meditating in gentle silence. Another way to unburden oneself of grief is to journal, especially about the person one has lost. Writing can often be therapeutic, and when grief has its tentacles around one’s heart, the process of jotting down one’s thoughts and feelings can loosen the heart and give it some rein. Journaling can create a safe space for you to express and process your emotions and thoughts.

Then, there are those who find relief in music. They play a certain song in the morning, one they used to enjoy together while sipping their tea. It becomes a way to feel close again, if only for a moment. Daily walks can also be comforting, especially when they are on a route they once walked together. 

And what better way to realise the beauty of life than to garden? To dig up soil, plant seeds, watch them grow, and perhaps even wither due to conditions outside of one’s control… these are incredible lessons in life and how it goes on.

Creating Something in Their Memory

Some find comfort in creating something lasting. It can become a way to honour, to remember, and to keep the bond alive in a tangible way.

It can be a memory book, one filled with photos, stories, or notes that describe their relationship. Each page can be a small tribute to the deceased person, to ensure their legacy continues even when they are not around. 

Others plant a tree or a small garden and name it after the person they have lost, with the belief that the growth of something new in their loved one’s name is a form of continuation. It does not necessarily have to be a tree. For many, it can be a shelf, a nook by the window, a chair, or anything else they associate with the person. 

Some others believe in creating more memories. Friends and families gather, not to mourn, but to celebrate. Someone will cook their favourite dish, another will play their favourite tune on the guitar, and everyone will simply share stories. These moments may not erase the sadness, but they soften its edges.

Giving Back as a Way to Heal

Helping others can be a form of healing, too. For some, giving becomes a way to heal and to move forward. 

One person started a small scholarship in their sibling’s name. Another donated books to a local bookstore with handwritten notes inside: ‘In memory of my father, who loved stories’. 

While still others organise food drives or donate clothes that once belonged to their loved ones. This does not have to come out of detachment, but out of a desire to let those belongings continue to help someone.

For others, volunteering can also become a ritual. Volunteering at an old-age home, especially if one has lost a loved one at a senior age, or a children’s shelter if someone has lost a young one, can allow one to feel that life goes on regardless of personal circumstance. Doing volunteering activities in someone else’s name can feel like continuing their kindness in the world.

Sometimes, part of healing also means putting things in place to protect those we love. Setting up a will, investing in the right tools, or considering life insurance can bring a quiet sense of comfort. It is a way of turning pain into purpose: by ensuring others do not face the same uncertainties we did.

Building a Gentle Routine

When life takes an unexpected turn, a gentle way to heal is to establish familiar routines. Sticking to a routine in the face of grief can seem overwhelming, but it may be just the thing to help you heal. Routine makes one realise that there is still stability in the world, that the next moment will be a familiar one. That is why many find it easier to heal and rebuild their emotional strength through acts of routine and self-care. 

These daily acts offer predictability and a sense of control, however small.

Closing Thoughts

Do you know the feeling of relief when you find a place to sit after you have walked for hours? Or, the relief at finding shade after being in the sun for too long? 

Healing can be like that. It can feel like a gust of wind on a hot, humid day. And like the gust of wind, the small moment may go away. But with every gust of wind, the sense of coolness increases. Healing comes in moments, often very small ones. 

Healing does not mean you forget the person, but rather it means you find a way to live in peace and happiness even in their absence. Whether you find this way via taking long walks in nature, by coding a game, by learning a hobby, or simply by focusing on each breath, your process of healing is your own. With each small step you take, you are building a gentle, quiet strength — not to move on, but to move forward.